It all begin in the summer when he chucked me....

I've not been single for YEARS!

Imagine my trauma to discover that noooooo, now that I've wasted the best years of my life chasing yet another (foreign and leaving or I'll have him deported) lothario, that post 35 they are no longer lined up at my door!
Even truck drivers and builders are more polite with my single status! (Or maybe there is some legislation passed about yelling obscenities at passing breasts that has made it illegal or something and i failed to notice....fat chance... i'm just past it!)

Anyway! Turns out i'm not alone in the world of 'can't be arsed shaving my legs just for me' singledom and strangely enough we all want that status changed just so we can order a whole pizza and have someone else kill the spiders.....

So - ladies - this is a starting point for occasional amusement and to 'log' our dating efforts until we're married off (at which point you're banned)(unless you seperate and want to let those stories loose then too :))

Let it rip and a starter from me.......

He was Australian (should have sent me running from the start I guess) and despite some slightly out of focus but ok photo shots, he was not as promised, 6'3, but in fact about 5'5.
Thinking I'd have words about the consumer trading standards, I thought bugger it, maybe he'll be a laugh so have a drink and maybe he's got some mates who would'nt have made it into the auditions for the hobbiton village scenes....

15 mins later....

Hiding in the loo, I'm desperately thinking how the hell do i get out of here without being spotted, having picked a table convenient for a wee, but not for an escape! Note to self: Scope bar earlier and suss this kind of info first before sitting down.

Not only was mr short arse short, but apparently grew up on a farm and would wank in the middle of the fields with the cows (cos youre not gonna tell me you had sex with them on the first date now are you), was into leather (normal - minus the fact he liked gimp suits) and would happily have sex with me and my friends if we were all free that afternoon.

Needless to say, coming out of the loo graciously, with mobile phone stuck to head shrieking "oh my god youre kidding I'll be right there" and flinging £20 in the general direction of shorty, I did the most pathetic and blatently bullshit exit and ran for the tube.

His name was Andy something. You have been warned. Next outing on Monday night. Lets see how this one goes.....